The Myth of Starting Over

People often say, "I just want to start over." After a divorce, a heartbreak, a health crisis, a career change, retirement, or loss, we imagine the answer is a completely clean slate—a blank page.

But is starting over even possible? 

Would we really want to? 

We imagine life gives us a blank page. In reality, every new chapter is shaped by the ones that came before it. We don't erase what came before—we write from a different place because of it. 

Think about who you were ten years ago. You wouldn't want that version of yourself back, even if life felt simpler then. You have more discernment now, more boundaries, more compassion, more questions, more resilience.

We confuse starting over with becoming someone else. But healing doesn't erase who we've been—it changes how we carry our story.

Perhaps life isn't asking us to begin from scratch but to begin with greater wisdom. Maybe every new beginning is actually a continuation. We don't start over. We start from here. 

The goal isn't to erase our history but to let it become part of our strength rather than our identity. Our use of words matter. 

“Starting over" implies failure and erasure. "Beginning again" suggests continuity, growth, and choice. We can choose to care for ourselves with kindness, hope and possibility. 

Whether it’s your fitness routine, positive thinking mindset, or going through a life challenge or transition— know that “beginning again” is a great life skill. When we change the way we look at things and embrace the wisdom within—our experience changes from the inside out. 

As always, I am happy to be your guide. 

Reflection questions:

What strengths did this season of life give me that I didn't have before? 

What am I carrying that deserves to come with me? 

What beliefs actually need to stay behind? 

If I wasn't trying to become who I used to be, who am I becoming?

Be kind to your heart,

Lisa Angelini, MAPC, LPC, ACCHT