Deep down inside I believe first and foremost we all want to be loved; to give love and receive love. This is the most basic human need and one for which we are hard wired. Over the years of my career, I have heard this desire expressed, albeit in different ways from the homeless person to the billionaire.
Many try to fill up what they describe as a "hole" inside of them with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, or the next "Mr. or Mrs. Right". You may have guessed, that this "hole" is one of spiritual or emotional emptiness that cannot be filled with external sources.
This time of year, my phone seems to ring off the hook with folks who seemingly become aware of their loneliness. Television commercials are filled with happy couples receiving diamonds and new cars with big red bows tied upon them. Children are playing with their new puppies and happy families are getting together for the holidays. While this may be reality for some, for many it is not.
If this holiday season is not one that is filled with the connection joy and love you seek, just pause...
That's right, just P.A.U.S.E.
Pray, Accept, Understand, Shift and Expect.
Pray- Regardless of if you are religious or not. If you have a higher power, connect. If you don't, connect with the unconditional love of a loved pet or small child.
Accept- Without judgment, where you are in the moment and honor your feelings and emotions.
Understand- This is a temporary condition and you can change it and/or the way you feel about it.
Shift- See the truth that you yourself are "love". Connect with your heart center and feel the unconditional love inside of you. (Everyone has it, you just must remember...)
Expect- Expect that good things will happen for you when your thoughts are in alignment and you take action.
Follow the P.A.U. S. E. formula for immediate relief. Know that no amount of alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, intensity...or other mood-altering experience/substance will improve the situation, only you can create your best life, through positive life choices and changes. Start counseling, go to a support group, read, journal, be honest and accountable. Hold onto Hope.
Great Things Await You,
Lisa Angelini,MAPC, LPC, ACCHT
Holistic Psychotherapist and Coach