The Night Everything Shifted

As I begin editing the first draft of my book––I remember when everything shifted. I woke up in the middle of the night to a something that would eventually unravel the life I thought we planned. It was the feeling that dropped into my chest like a weight I couldn’t name. Like a corset wrapped around my chest making it impossible to breathe. Confusion. Shock. Grief. And underneath it all, a silence that screamed louder than anything. In the days and weeks that followed, I kept looking for something to hold onto. A reason. A sign. Some way to make sense of what had happened. I prayed. I overthought. I read articles, listened to podcasts, increased my spiritual practices, tried to “stay positive.” I tried to continue being a spiritual person. I tried to grieve the “right” way—even though someone had drastically mishandled me. I wanted to rise above it. I wanted to be gracious. But deep down, I was unraveling.

I did eventually stop trying to find the answers—but it took therapy. It took sitting across from someone who didn’t rush me, didn’t fix me, didn’t hand me a neat explanation tied up with a bow. It took being honest—not just with him, but with myself.

That’s when I began to more deeply understand a hard truth: healing doesn’t begin when we figure it all out. Healing begins when we’re willing to face what hurts, without numbing it, spiritualizing it, or pretending it doesn’t matter. The truth is, life doesn’t always make sense. And that’s not something we need to fix—it’s something we need to face.

Real strength isn’t found in rationalizing pain with spiritual soundbites. It’s found in the courage to feel, the willingness to grieve, and the grace to hold space for ourselves and others. You don’t need to make sense of your suffering in order to move forward. You just need to honor it—that’s where true healing begins.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to be okay yet. You just have to be real. And from that place—raw, messy, and honest—healing can finally begin.

This is just one piece of a much larger story—one I’m exploring more deeply in my upcoming book. If you've ever struggled to heal after being hurt, mishandled, or misunderstood, I hope this book will feel like a companion in the dark.

Stay tuned—I'll be sharing more soon.

If you want to be the first to know when it's ready, you can sign up here:

 lisaangelini.com/book