Real Intimacy Grows Slowly

In the early days of a connection, everything can feel electric. The chemistry is magnetic, the conversations are deep, and it’s easy to imagine a future together. But often what we’re experiencing isn’t love — it’s limerence.

Limerence is that intense infatuation where the other person feels almost magical. You think about them constantly, and every interaction feels charged with possibility. But limerence isn’t rooted in reality — it’s built on projection, fantasy, and the version of someone we want them to be.

Getting to truly know someone takes time. Not just time spent together, but time spent navigating life’s inevitable bumps. It takes seeing how they handle pressure, how they respond when things don’t go their way, how they take accountability, how they show up in hard conversations. You start to learn who they really are not just by what they say, but by how consistently their actions align with their words — especially when it’s not convenient.

Real intimacy grows slowly, over shared experiences, honest dialogue, and mutual repair after conflict. It can’t be rushed or forced.

So if you’ve ever been swept up quickly only to feel confused or hurt when things fall apart — know this: that was limerence, not love. There’s nothing wrong with it; it’s a human experience. But don’t confuse emotional intensity with emotional intimacy.

Love is a slow build. A steady reveal. A choice made again and again, not just when it’s easy, but when it’s real.

Take your time. The right person will want to grow something lasting with you — not just burn bright and fade fast.