Choosing Honor When You Have Been Dishonored

At times, we will all face adversity, betrayal, or even heartbreak. You may have been disrespected due to a person’s behavior, actions, or non-actions. What seems like a simple request or common decency may not have taken place or someone may have acted without integrity. Perhaps you asked for a conversation for healing and clarity, and you were met with silence or stonewalling.  Confusion and a host of emotions may result and depending on the circumstances, the pain may be immense.

 What happened at the hands of another may not be fair or wanted. It wasn’t okay or kind and now, somehow, you need to get through this by yourself. But how?  How can you choose honor when you have so clearly been dishonored? How can you keep your heart open when everything tells you to close to protect yourself from being hurt further?

Remember your worth:  Somebody’s poor behavior or inability to love appropriately does not diminish your value and worth. 

Separate the person from their behavior:  The part of the person that behaved disrespectfully is not the “whole” person. Understand this person’s woundedness for them to behave in that manner. Part of them may lack the courage to face the truth, express themselves or may hide in avoidance.  When we can understand someone’s woundedness, we are more capable of being compassionate and still stand in our own truth and love. 

Make space for grace:  Pray, meditate, practice mindfulness and bringing simple joys into your life. 

Most of us wouldn’t choose to experience the heartache that comes from being dishonored, however real growth happens when you choose compassion over resentment in response to their behavior.